So Josephine moved into her house this weekend. If you follow my Young Mom Support blog you’ll know about it. It was a happy and exciting day, and I was very honoured to be able to share her excitement. Lucky. That’s me.
There was a feeling of sadness too, though. Her new house is a 3x6m Wendy house on her Pastor’s plot in Ocean View. All her worldly goods and her child fit into this tiny space – it’s where they eat, sleep, live. That tiny space is all they have. And they are so damn grateful for it. It was a beautiful and special occasion. It made me happy, because she was happy (and that’s why we do anything for others, isn’t it? To make them happy). She thanked us over and over again. That was awkward for me. I don’t know what to say, how to take it. Obviously she is expressing her feelings and that’s fine. But to be thanked for something so small, so insignificant and inadequate – it made me sad.
As we drove away, with Blessing and Josephine waving out of their new window, I was angry. With myself – for the times I’ve moaned about stupid things. For the times I’ve wanted more than I need. For the money wasted on stupid stuff.
And angry with everyone else who does the same. The seemingly never-ending stream of pretend-ironic Twitter-bitching – #middleclassproblems hashtagged until I want to stick a fork in my eye. Yes, everybody has problems, annoyances. Big issues and small. Everybody’s allowed to talk about them. Nobody has to be serious or worthy all the time.
What’s getting me down (and chasing me away from Twitter these days) is the trying-too-hard-to-be-witty self-awareness, self-absorption, combined with gobsmacking whacks of ignorance, entitlement and sheer blindness to the real world. Not just Twitter – but everywhere.
I recently told an acquaintance (a real-world one – and not someone I actually like) – about our Josephine’s House project. She literally turned up her nose and sneered. She asked why I’d shaved my head. I told her – she said “Oh”. Oh. With a face like a cat’s bum, while glaring at me like I’d just farted. I’ve no idea why she was so negative, and I didn’t call her out on it (SHOULD HAVE).
You can say she’s just a bitch. Which she is. I should just ignore her. I should. Usually, I can and do ignore shitty people.
I’m getting tired of it though. I’m getting tired of navigating shitty conversations (online and in the real world) about who deserves help and who doesn’t (as if YOU are qualified to decide that), I’m tired hearing people’s excuses for not getting involved in the world – in the end none of those excuses cut it.
Yeah, I’m moaning. You’d better believe I’m moaning. I’m tired of being sunshine and roses and happy fuzzy unicorns all the time when so many – SO MANY – people are suffering out there – for whatever reason. If everybody did something to help just one person or family – where could we be. And enough crap about It’s Not My Problem. Yes – it IS your problem. It IS your responsibility. It’s not up to anyone else, no government, no politician, no overstretched NGO. It’s YOU and ME buddy. The Haves do not have to feel guilty for Having. But we do have a responsibility to be aware of our Having, and make the world better for our being here. Otherwise we’re just taking. It’s the rent that’s due for being alive.
I don’t care, seriously, if you want to help old folks or rhinos or teenage moms or cancer patients or Patagonian toothfish. Just do SOMETHING. Liking Facebook posts does not count. Start something. Do Something.
Tomorrow is Monday – a new week, we’re still in January, so New Year’s Resolutions are still an option.
START SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING.
Don’t want to be angry anymore.